Russ and Reb were 91 years old and . . .

The couple, Russ and Rebecca, were 91 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies, and bought most of their things at garage sales and through Craigslist. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to Rebecca’s insistence on healthy foods and yoga and other exercise, and especially her insistence on dieting and Weight Watcher points, particularly during the last decade of their lives.

One day,

their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane

crashed, sending them off

to Heaven (a place Russel could never have

managed to arrive at on his own, but Rebecca’s

management of his soul had finally gotten him into shape

for the place).

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter

escorted them inside. He took them to a

beautiful mansion, furnish

ed in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a

waterfall in the master bath. A

maid could be seen hangin

g

their beautiful clothing in the closet, and another was arranging Rebecca’s dazzling aquama

rine jewelry on a dresser. The couple gasped in astonishment when St. Peter

said, 'Welcome to

Heaven. This will be your home now.'

Russel asked

Peter how much all this was

going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied; 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.’ Russ looked out the window and right there he saw

a

beautiful trout stream,

absolutely lovely and jumping with big trout. An awesome-looking fishing kayak, bearing his name emblazoned in gold, was docked at the shore. 'How much does the fishing license cost up here, and how much is that kayak?' grumbled Russ. 'This is Heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can fish for free, every day, and the creel limit is infinity. And the kayak is a gift.' Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. 'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to Russ. This is Heaven; it is all free for you to enjoy.' Russ looked around and glanced nervously at Rebecca. 'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the Weight Watcher notebooks?,' he asked. That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick, and Rebecca will always think you’re sexy. This is Heaven!' Russ pushed, 'No exercise routine I’ve got to keep up?' 'Not unless you want to,' was the answer. 'No testing my blood pressure, and no colonoscopies?' 'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself. Russ glared at Rebecca and said, 'You and your damn Weight Watcher points. We could have been here ten years ago!

Submitted by Russ :)